read it somewhere
apologies na lang sa author ng isang CSi forum
For a show that is very serious, CSI is one of the funniest shows on tv. Proves one of my favorite points, never take yourself too seriously.
Captain Jim Brass: Everyone should witness an autopsy on their first night.
Gil Grissom: There are three things people love to stare at: a babbling brook, a roaring fire, and a Zamboni going around and around.
Catherine Willows: I love a Zamboni.
Gil Grissom: Everybody loves a Zamboni.
Gil Grissom: High altitude enhances the entire sexual experience. It increases the euphoria.
Sara Sidle: Well, that's good. I don't know if it's that good... cite your source.
Captain Jim Brass: You're under arrest for obstructing justice, tampering with states evidence, and violating seven articles of scumbag.
Gil Grissom: I come here for calamari.
Catherine Willows: Oh... Alone?
Gil Grissom: No. Sometimes I have a beer with it.
Warrick Brown: What does Grissom order when he goes out at night?
Sara Sidle: He goes out at night?
Warrick Brown: See how little we know about him?
Gil Grissom: Every day we meet people on the worst day of their lives.
Warrick Brown: Well, you know Grissom, shortest distance between two points is science. For Catherine, it's pounding the pavement.
Warrick Brown: So were you a jock or a brain?
Gil Grissom: I was a ghost.
Cath is a former stripper
Greg Sanders: So, the French Palace, huh?
Catherine Willows: Yup.
Greg Sanders: You know, friends and I go there. Payday Fridays.
Catherine Willows: Uh huh.
Greg Sanders: Maybe I saw you perform.
Catherine Willows: Oh, I doubt it.
Greg Sanders: Why?
Catherine Willows: You would've remembered.
Catherine Willows: You're right, you know. I should be just like you. Alone in my hermetically sealed condo, watching Discovery on the big screen, working genius-level crossword puzzles. But no relationships, no chance any will slop over into a case. Yeah, right. I want to be just like you.
Gil Grissom: Technically it's a townhouse. And the crosswords are advanced, not genius. But you're right, I'm deficient in a lot of ways. But I never screw up one of my cases with personal stuff.
Catherine Willows: Grissom...WHAT personal stuff?
Warrick Brown: Only clue he's got is a missing boat, which sucks because...it's missing.
Greg Sanders: I would never doubt your word.
Catherine Willows: Smart man.
Gil Grissom: You gotta breathe through your ears, Gribbs.
Catherine Willows: If there's one thing you learn on this job is that human beings are capable of anything.
Eddie, Cath's ex is accused of rape
Gil Grissom: What's the status?
Catherine Willows: Skin samples from under the women's fingernails are consistent with Ed's. I saw some bruises. But Eddie's style has always been very...involved. Vigorous.
Gil Grissom: ...Vigorous.
Warrick Brown: She's trying to tell you Eddie likes it rough.
Catherine Willows: Thank you, Warrick.
Catherine Willows: How much does this place clear a week?
Lady Heather: Ten grand.
Catherine Willows: I'm not with the IRS.
Lady Heather: Okay. Twenty.
Catherine Willows: I don't make that in three months.
Lady Heather: Sex pays a lot better than death.
Catherine Willows: Plus the outfits are cooler.
Catherine Willows: Never doubt. Never look back. That's how I live my life.
Gil Grissom: I admire that.
Gil Grissom: It's interesting to me how you always expect the worst.
Catherine Willows: You see, that way I'm never disappointed. And sometimes I'm nicely surprised.
Lawyer: You took your clothes off for a living?
Catherine Willows: For a VERY good living.
Dr. David Robbins: I'll know more later.
Gil Grissom: You always tell me that.
Dr. David Robbins: Yes, I do.
Greg Sanders: Cath? Your DNA results are back. According to my DNA data, the types are 814 quadrillion to one - that your suspect is our killer. Pretty good stats...
Catherine Willows: Yeah, considering there are only six billion people in world.
Gil Grissom: Greg?
Greg Sanders: Yeah.
Gil Grissom: I need you to take off your shoes and socks.
Greg Sanders: See, now we're getting into this whole strip forensics thing, and I'm not sure I can hang with that. Even if you are my boss.
Nick Stokes: Ten bucks says the owner sells the place.
Gil Grissom: By law you have to disclose everything: 2 bedrooms, 1 bath, and a skeleton.
Catherine returns to Vegas from Miami
Catherine Willows: Hello.
Gil Grissom: Hey. Nice tan.
Catherine Willows: Nice suit.
Gil Grissom: Yeah, well, I knew you were coming back today, so I dressed up.
Catherine Willows: Yeah...right....
Cath looks him up and down
Catherine Willows: Nothing. It's just unusual to...see you dressed...like that.
Gil Grissom: I had to go to the chief's funeral.
Catherine Willows: Missed me that much, huh?
Dr. David Robbins: You say tomato... I say cause of death.
Gil Grissom: Hey Doc, tell me something I don't know.
Dr. David Robbins: When I was in fourth grade, I dropped karate because some kid half my size made me cry.
Gil Grissom: It's a carpet beetle. It shouldn't be here.
Catherine Willows: The vic seem more like a hardwood floors kind of guy to you?
Gil Grissom: Sometimes I can be a little thoughtless.
Catherine Willows: I wouldn't say that. Not just any guy would walk a girl to the morgue.
Catherine Willows: So, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Gil Grissom: How amazing the universe is. Everything made from the same carbon, stars to trees, trucks to human bones.
Catherine Willows: Uh, no, I was thinking that we have about 100 bone fragments. We could ID this body before the end of the shift.
Catherine Willows: So, any luck with the blood and hair samples I gave you?
Greg Sanders: Don't insult me. Luck is only for those without skill.
Catherine Willows: Spoken like a man who's never hit the jackpot.
Greg Sanders: Sad, but true.
Guy: Hello?
Catherine Willows: Oh, hey.
Guy: Who's this? I just dialed my own damn beeper.
Catherine Willows: It's my beeper now. I found it. Bye...
Guy: It ain't yours. That's my beeper! I do a lot of business on that beeper!
Catherine Willows: What kinda business?
Guy: Oh, you know. Slangin' a little somethin' somethin'.
Catherine Willows: Maybe a little bling-bling?
Guy: What do you know about a little bling-bling?
Catherine Willows: Invite me over to your crib, baby. You might find out.
Guy: Three Aces Motel. Room 202.
she hangs up, and looks at Sara who was listening
Sara Sidle: So what's a "bling bling"?
Catherine Willows: Got me.
Dr. David Robbins: The leg was severed post - mortem.
Catherine Willows: Well, that's good news.
Dr. David Robbins: How do you figure?
Catherine Willows: Would you want to be alive while your leg's being cut off?
Nick Stokes: It's our job to know how. You heard Grissom: the more 'how' the less 'why'. The less the 'how' the more the 'why'.
Catherine Willows: Hey, Nick. Grissom's not always right. Do yourself a favor ; think for yourself. I mean that as a friend, okay?
Catherine Willows: I just realized that you and I have a very healthy relationship.
Gil Grissom: We do?
Catherine Willows: When we have a problem, I don't paint Greg in latex and stick a straw up his nose.
Gil Grissom: Good. He'd probably like it.
Catherine Willows: You're supposed to say something revealing back to me.
Gil Grissom: Okay. I never told anyone this, Catherine.
screen fades to black
Woman: You don't know what you're talking about.
Catherine Willows: Well, that's a pretty dangerous thing to say to a scientist.
Sara Sidle: You're awake, I hate you.
Greg Sanders: All work and no play makes Greg a dull boy.
Gil Grissom: All play and no work makes Greg an UNEMPLOYED boy.
Gil Grissom: May we come in?
Lady Heather: Say the magic word.
Captain Jim Brass: Warrant.
Gil Grissom: Amazing how the sight of blood can clear a room.
to Warrick
Catherine Willows: Whatever you say, Superfly.
Nick Stokes: So, what do you think it is? Cocaine maybe?
Catherine Willows: Nope.
Nick Stokes: How can you be sure?
Catherine Willows: Never you mind.
Sara Sidle: Body farm...creepy. What was it like?
Catherine Willows: Quiet.
Catherine Willows: If something doesn't feel right to you, it usually isn't.
Nick Stokes: There's a sucker born every minute.
Gil Grissom: Yeah, and they all come to Vegas.