We all know that forgiveness is essential for us for it is written that God forgives those who forgives others. We start from our conscious effort to forgive. But how do we know that we have already forgiven someone?
If you do not desire revenge and you do not feel hatred, you have already forgiven.
Is it forgetting the situation a sign?
It depends on what you mean by "forgetting."
It does not mean erasing from memory. Hindi para bang yung nakalimutan mo kung saan mo nailagay yung susi ng kotse, hindi mo na talaga maalala kahit pilitin mo.
Forgetting should mean to cease keeping an account of. May kasalanan sa iyo si Jose. Kinalimutan mo na yon, meaning hindi ka na gaganti, hindi ka na maninita o manunumbat, at hindi ka na galit.
Hindi ibig sabihin nawala sa memory mo, na hindi mo maalala kahit pilitin mo, kasi talagang deleted na sa memory mo. May Alzheimer's ka siguro kung ganon.
In the Old Testament, the rule is eye for an eye (Exodus 21:24). Justice meant that a transgression must be paid with a close equivalent. A penalty that is greater or less than the transgression is not justice.
That is why Jesus' analogy was a monetary debt. Kasi madaling makita ang equivalent. Umutang ng P1000, magbayad ng P1000.
Using the monetary debt analogy, what is forgiveness? It means the cancellation of the debt. Kinalimutan mo na kasi hindi ka na naniningil, hindi ka nanunumbat, at hindi ka galit.
Kaya ang sabi sa Lord's prayer:
12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. (Mt. 6:12) Which Jesus explained:
14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Mt. 12:14-16) Let's go to a parable from Jesus, and notice that forgiveness is again presented as a monetary debt analogy:
23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” (Mt. 18:23-35)Notice that this is another revolutionary new teaching from Jesus, which is a far departure from the Old Testament justice of "eye for an eye."
When we are wronged, it is human nature to desire an equivalent payment from the other because that is justice. If we don't get the equalizing payment, we feel anger and resentment, and believe that the only way to set things right is by way of revenge.
When we forgive, we cancel our brother's debt. We don't demand payment, and we don't constantly remind him about his unpaid debt anymore, because there is no more debt, since it has already been canceled.
Where's the justice there? Don't worry about it. Justice is what we will receive from the Father when He also forgives us our trespasses.
How about the hurt that you may still experience whenever you remember the event?
If you truly forgive, the hurt will gradually disappear. Just give it time.
If the hurt never goes away, it's because the resentment is still there, since there was no true forgiveness "from the heart." Maaaring sinabi lang yung forgiveness para may outward compliance sa biblical teachings, pero walang tunay na forgiveness from within.
Care to share your insights and experiences?
Ikaw rin ang makikinabang pag nagpatawad ka, sa totoo lang.
If you do not forgive, you harbor resentment and anger. These emotions can be terribly debilitating, leading to bad health, both physical and emotional. Pag sumobra ang galit, darating ang araw na papatay ka na ng tao. That's why Jesus taught:
21 “You have heard that it was said to the men of old, ‘You shall not kill; and whoever kills shall be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that every one who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment;... (Mt. 5:21-22)Again, this is a new teaching from Jesus. It is not the same as the Old Testament commandment, since Jesus said, "But I say," clarifying that what He was about to say would be something entirely different.
Pinakita Niya na may mabigat na connection pala ang galit at pagpatay --- na ang galit ay dapat iwasan kasi pupunta yan sa pagpatay.
But if you forgive, you get peace of mind, better health and better sleep. Ikaw rin ang magiginhawahan. Saan ka pa?
