Episode 1
At the comprehensive school in Darkley Noone, straw-brained, squawking schoolgirl Vicky Pollard explains why she hasn’t done her essay on Lord Kitchener. Inside 10 Downing Street, Prime Minister Michael is meeting with handsome new Treasury aide, Gregory Merchant, until jealous Sebastian interrupts the meeting. Transvestite Emily Howard escapes from the rain in a seaside pub.
Episode 2
At the newsagent, Dafydd Thomas is astounded to discover that someone has bought his copy of Gay Times. Andy insists on wearing his Smurf outfit to a smart Chinese restaurant. Vicky Pollard is accused of pushing a little girl into the swimming pool. Inside No 10 Downing Street, Sebastian is not happy when his opinion poll results briefing is interrupted by Prime Minister Michael’s wife. At Flatley psychiatric institution, inmate Anne is disrupting all Dr Lawrence’s attempts to show an inspector round. Starsky and Hutch celebrity ‘David Soul’ makes a hospital visit, and Marjorie Dawes introduces her class to the FatFighters Slimmer of the Year, Cliff Roberts.
Episode 3
After a disastrous by-election, Prime Minister Michael is going through the morning papers with his aide, Sebastian. Vicky and her mates are trying to order drinks in a pub, despite being obviously underage and without ID. Stage hypnotist Kenny Craig uses his powers to win at Scrabble while visiting his mother in hospital. At Fatfighters, Marjorie Dawes delights in telling the class all the most embarrassing details about a new member, her sister Barbara.
Episode 4
Transvestite Emily Howard is in denial when asked to cover her testicles for an x-ray. Vicky Pollard ends up in court, where her incomprehensible mutterings make no sense to the judge and jury. In a dance studio, Sandra Patterson watches anxiously as her nine-year-old son Ralph auditions for a commercial. Visiting her mother in hospital, Marjorie Dawes tries to persuade the doctor to put her into an old people’s home. Royal reporter Peter André gets a dressing down from his BBC producer for a very odd item on last night’s news.
Episode 5
At the Paul Young Offenders Institution, Vicky Pollard has been summoned to the governess’s office for biting another inmate in the canteen. Prime Minister Michael is holding a press conference at No 10 on the disgraced Foreign Secretary’s resignation. At Kelsey Grammar a young pupil gets career advice from a robot. The Queen is hosting a garden party but Peter André, Royal Correspondent for the BBC, cannot get in without an invitation. Former Olympic silver medallist Denver Mills is giving out less-exalted medals on Downey Junior School’s prize-giving day.
Episode 6
Inside 10 Downing Street, Sebastian cannot remain silent when Prime Minister Michael tackles the Chancellor of the Exchequer about his leadership ambitions. At a visit to the doctor Vicky Pollard learns to her amazement that she is eight months pregnant. Retired athlete Denver Mills gives a speech at the Annual Police Federation Dinner. FatFighters leader Marjorie Dawes meets a client in her local supermarket. Psychiatrist Dr Lawrence’s family have a special guest staying with them this weekend – his craziest patient, Anne. And Andy and Lou are planning a holiday.
Episode 7
Teenage mother Vicky Pollard tells her social worker that she’s swapped her baby for a Westlife CD. Marjorie Dawes tries to forget her one-night-stand with FatFighter Paul. Andy needs to choose a colour so Lou can paint his room. Horrified at the numbers that have arrived, Dafydd cancels gay night at Llandewi Breffi’s local pub. Nine-year-old child actor Ralph Patterson auditions for a production of Bugsy Malone, while mum Sandra attempts to get rid of the opposition. Meanwhile in politics, it's party conference time and late at night in his hotel room, Prime Minister Michael is making some final changes to his big speech.
Episode 8
Transvestite Emily Howard gives a broken-down van driver some most unfeminine help. Dafydd is dismayed when barmaid Myfanwy admits that she too is gay. Vicky Pollard is invited back to her old school as a reformed character. Romantic novelist Dame Sally is dictating her latest oeuvre to Miss Grace, while a traffic report is on the radio. Marjorie Dawes is not amused that Mrs Harrison from FatFighters head office is checking up on her. Jason calls on his friend Gary’s grandmother, bearing gifts of ice cream, a video of 91/2 Weeks and lubricating jelly. And Andy does a spot of shoplifting when Lou takes him to the supermarket.
